Saturday, February 13, 2010

Writing stumbles

I started writing a couple new songs today at my apartment. The melodies are slowly shaping, but lyrically, I feel odd. I was playing with a few ideas for lyrics, but I honestly began to not quite believe myself in what I was saying and writing. It's a weird feeling and even stranger to admit. I feel these writing-ruts sometimes and it's hard to talk my way out of them. It's like I am in a room that I want to leave, but I can't find the door.

The good news is that I've been in this place before. I recognize it. It usually takes a day or two to find my way. It's frustrating, but not new. It's not exactly writer's block per se because the words and melodies are flowing. Rather, it's a "lack of writer's credence" or something like that. If I talk about love, I don't feel like I really mean it. If I talk about things that bother me, I don't feel compassion for myself. I compare it to an actor whose actions on stage seem perfunctory. It's all just sort of grey. Nothing is defined or committed. There doesn't seem to be conviction or color in the words I am writing, despite those same words having meaning in other songs I've written that I love.

Alas, I'll keep pushing.

-Alex