Friday, May 02, 2008

Notes from New York

Been feeling a little weird lately. The boys and I had a great tour that spanned a lot of miles and met some great fans (old and new) on the road. But, my mood has felt a little burned out. I don't know whether it's the release of fatigue immediately after a record release when there has been so much planning to make the new album successful. I can't say really. I've been doing the "artist thing" for 7 seven years. It's been quite a road, literally and figuratively. I've had enough frustrations to want to quit about every month. But, for some reason, I'm still at it and I guess I can say things have been good. We've got an amazing group of fans worldwide, I've traveled the world, and have had some pretty cool opportunities along the way with press, TV, and other forms of noteriety.

But, so much goes into all of this that the immediate rewards aren't always apparent. It's difficult and most of the time, it's the artist himself who has to proverbially drum up his own support to keep the motivation going strong. I've always said, "the phone won't ring unless I make the call." I think that's still true. Nothing happens unless the "pursuer" makes it happen. Sometimes, it's hard. Sometimes, I feel tired about having to be my own biggest fan.

At the moment, I'm home in New York and off the road. I like it. I can breathe and breathe deeply. I'm working on some new song ideas and so far, it's really coming through. I want to sit on these ideas for a bit and not record them until I've really sculpted these songs carefully. I've got some new influences and inspirations and I feel good about it. I'll also be doing some traveling. I'm still figuring out my locales, but I'm planning on Japan this summer. I want something different. I've toured Europe and have traveled extensively there. I lived in Italy for a year, but Asia is new ground to me.

So, what's my point? I'm not entirely sure. Just some thoughts out-loud I guess. I'm happy, but admittedly tired. Sometimes an artist needs a push from more than himself. Along the way, the band and I have had some tough shows and some long nights on the road. It's wears on me (and probably them too). This is a tough pursuit and the rewards don't always equal the energy input and personal investments. I think that can always be a difficult combination...working harder than what will come back to you. But, for some reason, I still maintain a level of self-efficacy that I hope will push me to press on...I hope you all will be behind me.

Alex